full moon

it's funny that there's a full moon out shining clearly in the sky, because I've had a strange/awful day with the guy and I can't give any other explanation for it besides cosmic misalignment.

too weird to really discuss... and the reasons why we didn't connect just weren't really concrete either. strange how he handles things though. when he's upset over something, he tries to withhold sex. we're not HAVING sex, so he's withholding kisses...

there's something wrong in a relationship where the MAN is the one who uses sexuality as a reward/punishment. am I right? because even as a woman I have personally never done that, and even when I'm not entirely in the mood, I never push him away. it makes me feel really shitty when he does this.

he used to do it more often, but since we got back together this is the first time. funnily enough, I didn't even know he was mad. and still don't really understand why.

i ended up just turning heel on his doorstep, no goodbye.... just a "well ok whatever" and i walked to my car. he sent me two texts trying to explain the reasons for his actions, but they were pathetic and don't excuse what he did. i haven't texted him back, and i don't think I'm going to call him or have contact with him for a bit.

it's unlike me to not respond... i used to be the first one to call HIM< trying to mend things even when he was the one at fault... but after we broke up i grew a backbone and now i feel the need to use it. l

Let me just tell you that the reason he was angry at me, or annoyed with me, was so stupid that i didn't even know anything was wrong.

anyway, sorry for the rant... sometimes it helps to write it out.

goodnight
badlittlegoodgirl