Part 2: boob-man

... Part 1 cont'd.



Over the summer, I had been a few months into the break-up with my man, and starting to feel extremely horny. For a while, I really just wanted to jump everything with a penis... because a girl has needs, you know?

So I was signed up for MCAT classes (the standardized test for med schools, if you didn't know), and I was definitely not expecting to be, umm, stimulated? in that course. Because, you know, the demographic of people trying to get into med school rarely include the more genetically fortunate types you see on Grey's Anatomy, etc.

The very first day, I walked down the block towards the building, and a very tall, very good looking guy happened to be walking in the same direction. He reached the door just before me, and held it open. As I thanked him, I wondered if I was in the right place. No way this guy was in my class right? Wrong.

Let me introduce you to Mr. Rugby. A 6'7" (that's right, sequined), ruggedly handsome, very well-built rugby player, he was impressive before you realize that he is also incredibly smart. Good grades, wants to become a doctor... the whole, amazing package right?

Oh, and he also came and sat right next to me. And continued to do so every day.

We were instantly flirting, and joking around and just being smart-asses. And we were also a bit inseparable for a few weeks. If one of us forgot the book, we'd share with the other, heads bent as we pored over organic chemistry (sexy right?).

It wasn't long before he invited me over to see his place. He was subletting in a house filled with guys, but his room was surprisingly clean (and smelled good). We picked up a blanket and a rugby ball and headed to the nearby park. He pushed me on the swing set, we tossed the ball around (he took off his shirt!!), and then we laid on the blanket together in the sun and talked for hours. We then went to lunch, and I called it a day.

But I wanted him.

Sure enough, next class he asked me to come over and study. "Study". When we arrived I made a pretense of bringing out my books, but he immediately reclined on his bed and made absolutely no effort to join my academic efforts. So naturally, I joined him. But, no hanky-panky! We ended up just talking, then spooning, and then napping together on his bed. Then we woke up, me curled against him with my head on his chest, him playing with my hair... but still he didn't try to kiss me. Little alarm bells were going off, but I couldn't pinpoint the reason...

Then I added him on facebook that night.

Mr. Rugby has a girlfriend!!! I was shocked... and then I was dismayed.... and then I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. They could be on break for the summer but continued stay in a relationship on facebook... they could be open to dating other people, etc. But I was starting to suspect this was the reason he wouldn't even kiss me. I decided to wait until he brought it up the next day.

I woke up, saw how beautiful and sunny and warm it was (summers ARE like that in Seattle, you know... sometimes), and donned a little cotton tank top. No bra.

Oh, how I wished I had worn a bra...

I get to class, and he greets me... and then locks eyes on my barely clad chest. And I don't think he looked up, even when class was over and he asked me back to his place to 'study' once again.

Let me tell you, it made me slightly uncomfortable to have a guy staring like that at my chest. i understand it happens all the time to girls, but if you remember, i have very small breasts. There had never been a time before this that a guy had refused to make eye contact with me because he was too busy staring at my tits. It has just never happened before... and I'm kind of glad about it now because it's frustrating to be talking to a face that's pointing another direction the whole time.

We walked to his place again, and again he lays out on his bed. No books. So I oblige, but I'm weary. He has a girlfriend... or does he? I don't know what that deal is, but I still really want to make out with him because, well, he's still really hot. Sue me.

This is where the weirdness happens. We're talking about something mundane when totally out of the blue,

Mr. Rugby, "Can I see your boobs?"

???

I'm so put off that of course, I right out refuse.

Me: "Uhh... *laughs uncomfortably* no...?!"

Mr. Rugby: "Really? Oh come on, you really won't show me?"

And I of course refuse, again. Let me now give you various examples of how he continues to ask to see my boobs. Over and over and over. And I refuse. Over and over and over. I mean, he'd drop the subject for like 5 minutes... we'd talk about something else, and then inevitably:

"Come on, I'll show you mine!"
"Why not, it's fun to be naked!"
"Just for a second, just show me them for a second."

And my absolute personal favorite,

"Let me just see one, then!"

All while staring at my breasts... who were definitely and traitorously perked up at all the attention.

At this point, I am just incredulous. I don't know why I stayed after he asked me twice... listen it may be sick, but I couldn't wrap my mind about how ridiculous it all was. I was still hoping to make-out with him, I think...

At one point, after he asked me why I wasn't flashing him, I answered with, "Because 1) I'm not drunk, 2) this isn't Mardi Gras, I'm not getting any beads, and 3) there's a natural progression to these things... you're kind of jumping the gun."

Another FAVORITE tid-bit slipped in between him imploring to see my chest, my refusals, and some small talk:

Mr. Rugby: "*sigh* I'm a boob man."

Me: "Well, I'm more of an ass guy's chick..."

And finally, when I asked him WHY he just wanted to jump right in to see them, he answered that it is 'less serious' than other things. Uh oh. This is where I figure that the guy is still really in a relationship with his girlfriend, and doesn't want to hook up with another chick... but figures looking at her tits isn't considered cheating. What's more is that all the touching, the trying to pull the straps of my shirt down (ya, even when I refused to take it off my shirt, he thought he would just 'help' me take it off anyway), the tackling, the teasing, all of the things he was pulling on me... would be completely unacceptable behavior. Like, if she found out, she would dump him. Really, what IS cheating?

I asked to be driven to my car.

We get in his car, buckle up, and he turns to me. And he says to me hopefully, "Last chance... you sure you don't want to show me?"

OH MY GOD like it would be doing MYself a favor! And how many times, really, do you have to reject someone until it becomes embarrassing, nay, comical??!!? I, literally, laughed in his face and said "NO" as emphatically as possible.

I went home, kind of in shock, replaying the day. And then I started laughing... only I would get this kind of crazy in my life.

What's better is that he continued sitting next to me for the duration of the course, and didn't at any point feel embarrassed or even apologize for that day... just pretended it didn't happen!

Sometimes i really don't get guys.