cock tease

I've recently heard the term 'cock tease' in conversation with a guy friend, as a reference to a girl who leads you on but doesn't ever get past the flirtatiousness.

When I did hear it though, my first instinct was to ask, "what's wrong with a little cock teasing?" before i realized the meaning for what it was.

My absolute favorite thing to do with the guy is a little teasing... drawing out his pleasure, never quite letting him get to the point of climax until I've had my fun :) There's a lot of power to be had when you're pleasing someone else; why relinquish that power so early?

While for me, the teasing on him is by going down on him, getting back up to kiss him, walking away to play with myself against a wall while he's watching, going back to sucking and licking him in all of the sensitive places... the way I love to be teased is somewhat different.

I want to be teased in public... a touch on my back a little lower than appropriate when standing in the line, a kiss on the neck when I'm looking at a shelf a the store, a hand brushed against my breast when he reaches for the check... etc.

And then I want to be teased in the bed. My hands pinned above my head while he very slowly kisses my lips... keeping my aching slit off-limits while he licks and pinches my nipples, all drawing out the ultimate pleasure.

I can't for the life of me imagine that this kind of cock or pussy teasing is a bad thing...

badlittlegoodgirl

throw down

i call his phone when i get to his doorstep.

he answers quietly, but i hear footsteps on the stairs inside and the door opens to me.

he lets me in, and i kick off my shoes.

i grab his shirt in my fist, and pull him behind me up the stairs to his room. i have yet to say a word.

we close the door behind us, and he swoops in for a kiss. his lips hit mine, then part and let his tongue flick into my mouth.

i pull myself against him, urging him to open his mouth wider, force him to kiss me harder, deeper.

we're groping at each other, but i step back, breaking the kiss.

i walk backwards a few feet, and start pulling off my work clothes. first, the ridiculous tie. then i unbutton my shirt and yank it off. next i pull my tank top over my head, follwed quickly by my bra.

i hear his sharp intake of breath... he wants to touch but i'm not done.

i unbutton my pants, let them fall to the ground and then kick them away. my panties are the last thing to come off... i peel them down, away from my hot, wet body.

he closes the distance between us quickly, and i'm caught up in his embrace... his hands run over my bare skin, yearning to touch everything at once and frustrated that he hasn't the patience to take his time.

in a blink, he's down to his boxer-briefs. i push his lips from mine and push him backwards onto his bed. as he sits on the edge, i sink between his legs and pull off the last of his clothing; the only thing between the meeting of naked flesh.

kneeling in the most perfect place, not wanting to be anywhere else... i take in the sight. let my eyes roam over every last erect inch of him, admiring the slight curve, the way it jumps slightly under my appreciative stare.

i stare up into his eyes right before i grasp him with both hands, start a delicious rythym i will soon play out with my mouth.

i bend forward to taste him, lick the tip where the expected wet saltiness is waiting. i pull him into my mouth and begin pumping him in.

he groans, but tells me he wants to touch me. we reposition on the bed, almost sixty nine but side by side...

he licks his fingers and slides them between my ass and down to my wet slit. he slowly inserts one, and then two into me and matches the rythym of his thrusting to my movements on him.

i have him in my mouth, and pumping with my hand. but he tells me to 'do it', the thing we wanted to try but hadn't gotten to practice.

i hold his shaft in my hand, continue stroking him up and down, but my mouth travels lower.

i lick, and then pull one of his balls into my mouth. as i pump with my hand, i suck and roll my tongue around him in my mouth.

i feel him tensing up, and he tells me he is close. i speed up my movements, and his fingers are fucking me with the same intensity.

i could feel the movement of his climax before it comes, and then I feel him release with a groan.

i release him from my mouth, but lick gently a few more seconds before getting up to kiss him.

i looooooooooove giving head especially when i know it will be my turn next :)

low resolution

My little fight/fiasco with the guy remains unresolved.



I recently read in an article in Cosmo that the 'not going to bed angry' mentality is wrong... that it's actually sometimes better to sleep on it because the next morning some of the anger is gone and you can more rationally work through the problem.

I don't know how well this works for me... I couldn't fall asleep for a long time last night because my chest felt heavy and my mind was racing and I was just miserable... I had a midterm this morning for which I got up at 5:30 am, and even in the hours I tried to study before the test I couldn't focus... I was still in anguish over the fight. And my eventual reaction to him.

I told you last night how the guy had sent me two texts trying to explain himself, right? Well, basically they were texts initially apologizing for his actions, and then immediately attacking me and telling me what I did so terribly wrong to deserve his over-reaction. At least, last night this is how these texts felt to me. I was able to ignore them until an hour later he sent a third and final text to me, once again initially apologizing, but taking the moment to attack me on yet another front.

Mind you, I really didn't do anything wrong yesterday! We had a few misunderstandings that got thrown way out of proportion, and they just escalated because we were both having shitty days. But right before he blew up on me, i really wasn't dwelling on it at all.

So stupid, stupid me picks up my phone, gets into text mode, and starts writing him.

1. "Yes, i'm horrible, i ruined your day, and i deserve to have you withhold kisses from me. Got it."

Not one to leave well enough alone at this point, plus as completely enraged as I was, passive-aggressive just wasn't doing it for me, so i continue...

2. "Let me just remind you that after everyone left, you were play fighting with ME and touching me inappropriately... I sure could tell you were mad."

And here is one part of why he was mad at me.. apparently, we play-fought (i would pinch his arm, he'd pinch me back, bite me, etc... it wasn't really overdone, it was in front of the tv and across the room from everyone) too outrageously in front of his brother's fiance and brother, and even though he played along, in retrospect he though it had 'gone too far'. After everyone left, we continued 'sparring' as he called it, but trying kind of play-wrestling and pinning on the ground, where he would playfully grope me when I was in a compromised position. Again, I thought we were having fun... guess not. This was where I tried to take it to he next step by trying to make-out with him, and where he stopped me mid-kiss and sort of pushed me off.

By the way, I had just gotten started on the texts, unfortunately...

3. "Don't think that you can still treat me the way you once did and i will be ok with it. Either you want to be with me and do things differently, or not. You told me you'd be honest."

And here I open THAT can of worms... honestly, it was like finger diarrhea... I just couldn't stop at this point!

4. "AND text fighting is for pussies. Call me when you REALLY want to work something out. And yes, i am angry."

Yes, I basically called him a pussy... well i guess I called myself that too. And yes, I stated the obvious with the anger thing. If he couldn't tell at this point, then he would have had to have some serious mental disabilities. I don't know what had gotten into me.. just so tired, sick of the drama, hating being mad at him, hate him being mad at me... i kind of exploded. And finally,

5. "And now i can't fucking sleep."

That was sent about half an hour after my last text... i think i did it in hopes that he was still awake, that he would feel guilty and call me so we could work it out. Didn't happen... which makes this last text not only seem utterly useless but kind of pathetic.


So yes, here is a documented case of just how terrible I am at making a situation better, or even not horribly wrong. This morning i reread his texts with a clearer head, and the didn't seem as acerbic as they did last night.. but my texts certainly read just as angrily as when i sent them. Ouch.

I called him at work today and left a message on his cell phone going something like this,
"hey it's me, just wanted to call... to kind of apologize for last night and also tell you that we need to talk. I have work tonight so maybe you can call before... or not... *mumble mumble* ok talk to you later...."

Embarrassing that I have the ability to make this whole thing a little worse for myself, and once again completely lose any leverage I might have had in the situation.

Why do i do this???

*xX EDIT Xx*

It has been resolved... everything is back to it's normal, wonderful self.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

full moon

it's funny that there's a full moon out shining clearly in the sky, because I've had a strange/awful day with the guy and I can't give any other explanation for it besides cosmic misalignment.

too weird to really discuss... and the reasons why we didn't connect just weren't really concrete either. strange how he handles things though. when he's upset over something, he tries to withhold sex. we're not HAVING sex, so he's withholding kisses...

there's something wrong in a relationship where the MAN is the one who uses sexuality as a reward/punishment. am I right? because even as a woman I have personally never done that, and even when I'm not entirely in the mood, I never push him away. it makes me feel really shitty when he does this.

he used to do it more often, but since we got back together this is the first time. funnily enough, I didn't even know he was mad. and still don't really understand why.

i ended up just turning heel on his doorstep, no goodbye.... just a "well ok whatever" and i walked to my car. he sent me two texts trying to explain the reasons for his actions, but they were pathetic and don't excuse what he did. i haven't texted him back, and i don't think I'm going to call him or have contact with him for a bit.

it's unlike me to not respond... i used to be the first one to call HIM< trying to mend things even when he was the one at fault... but after we broke up i grew a backbone and now i feel the need to use it. l

Let me just tell you that the reason he was angry at me, or annoyed with me, was so stupid that i didn't even know anything was wrong.

anyway, sorry for the rant... sometimes it helps to write it out.

goodnight
badlittlegoodgirl

-procrastinating-

I really should be studying right now, but all I feel like doing is snuggling up with the guy and watching the Office, and forcing him to sit through Grey's Anatomy.

So in lieu of being actually productive, I will tell you a story... the horribly embarrassing story of my 'first time'.

Up until I met the guy, I was firmly convinced I wouldn't have sex before marriage. I had what I thought to be iron-clad conviction that I could hold out until then... and then I met the penis. And I really wanted to get to know him.

Long story short, after much subtle coaxing by the guy and my own body's desperate and unfulfilled yearning to be filled up, I finally relented to the system and prepared for the biggest step in my relationship to that point.

We got together, and we agreed to go to the drugstore for condoms. Which is great, but let me give you a very important piece of information regarding the guy; he had only used condoms a very few times before (he was never promiscuous, was only with one long term gf before me, and she was on the pill while they were having sex) and she had provided both the condoms and the know-how of applying one. Basically, in this area he was as inexperienced as me.

We giddily drove together to the drugstore, both very eagerly anticipating the evening, and both a little nervous (well, I was a LOT nervous). Heading into the store, we realized the impending awkwardness of going through the checker's line together with a box of condoms... so we split up and did some really immature 'recon'. He called me from across the store.. he was in the contraceptives aisle and I was blindly walking around listening to him list off the different types of condoms. We finally agreed on a box (spermicidal lubricated) and he went to buy them as I left to wait for him at the car.

When we returned to his apartment, we immediately started tearing off clothes, getting riled up... (it was incredibly difficult for me to get in the mood due to my extreme nervousness), but anyway he managed to get it up, and then we reached for the box.

Before we even started, I whipped out the directions. Sexy right? He's standing there naked, and I'm reading about 'unrolling on the shaft'.

We try to get one on.

Won't roll on.

We realize we tried to unroll it in the wrong direction, so we toss it.

Tried a new one.

Same problem, had to toss it.

Open a new wrapper, examine condom closely, feel for the right direction to unroll it...

The guy is starting to lose his hard on, so we break to get him back up.

Try again. Right direction, won't unroll!! Why?!?

Might I tell you I was starting to find it all a bit funny? In my nervous half-aroused state, I started laughing at our poor attempts to get on a condom... something any 15 year old has better experience doing than these 20-somethings.

Toss it, try another one.

Right direction, once again won't unroll...

Then it dawned on me. My well-endowed man won't fit in this normal sized condom. He's too big! Since neither one of us had really much experience (me less than him) I didn't really realize the magnitude of his man-part until this moment. He absolutely will not fit.

This I thought at the time was absolutely hilarious. I think I was hysterically rolling around on the bed, naked and cracking up as my poor guy got more and more frustrated at both his lack of experience and expertise, and the fact that the fucking thing just won't get on him.

Between bouts of giggling, I told him that I thought he was too big for the condom, and he just looked up at me, stricken, and didn't believe me and wanted to try it again.

We unwrapped a new one and tried to roll it on... with a lot of lube and a lot of force, we managed to squeeze it on past his head, but it wouldn't roll all the way down and he said it started to feel like it was cutting off his circulation.

Right at this moment, I realize we need to go get some special, big boy condoms... which meant another trip to the *same* drugstore. Embarrassing, but at this point, I had my heart set on doing the deed, so we set out again.

A much longer story short, we did end up getting magnums, they did end up fitting him, and two more wasted, unused condoms later we did end up having sex... in three different positions, no less.

After the whole debaucle at the beginning, most of my nerves had vanished because although I was the virgin, it was kind of a first time for both of us.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

lazy, tired, but oh sooo excited...

I cannot walk today.

I can't climb stairs without gripping the railings, and I can't sit down without a wince, and I'm moaning if I have to move anywhere further than ten feet away.

In short, I guess I'm a bit out of shape. Granted, it was a very difficult trail and I did climb over 3000 vertical feet over 4 miles (and then back down), but still.

My man tried to make me feel better... apparently he believes that all that stress and strain and out-of-this-world pain that came with our climb would help us in the quest for better sex. I reminded him that we're currently not having sex, and he replied that we are training for the future.

How will climbing a mountain help our sex life? Well apparently it does make me horny to be THAT over-stimulated, and I guess it helps with cardio endurance... I'll just say I"m not ruling out the need for this type of training for our impending 'marathon'.

So today I'm just pretty much dead, but for some reason, although I can't really move... I'm still really excited and have been all day! I came home, laid in bed... then started touching myself, and before you know it I've climaxed.

Ok, great... now I feel really relaxed... my bed is really quite comfortable, and my fuzzy comforter sure is warm...

Bam! I'm asleep... I think I was gone for nearly four hours, but the best part was (and maybe this is because I fell asleep directly after masturbating) that I had maybe three or four DIFFERENT sex dreams during this nap! Each vivid enough so that I would wake up slightly because of a 'nocturnal' orgasm before falling back down into another equally satisfying fantasy.

Even though I could fell myself peaking after each of these dreams (that's what was waking me up) I was still incredibly horny when I finally woke up. So believe it or not, when I was still coming to, i began touching myself and came again!!

All before 6pm. I don't know whats gotten into me, but i know what's gotten into my vibrator; a fresh set of batteries.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

Mountain Climber!

I went hiking today with my man, and it was by far the worst beating my body has gotten in quite some time.

Four miles straight up a mountain, four miles back down... the location was the man's choice, and I had blindly agreed.

Five hours and several shaking limbs later, we returned to the trailhead... exhausted.

I was horny as fuck though, for some odd reason. It could have been the crisp mountain air, the incredible high we had gotten from making it to the top, the picturesque landscape the view afforded us, or simply the fact that all that exercise had blood circulating in all the right areas... but as I kissed a sweet peck (peck!) of congratulations to him at the bottom, I could FEEL myself getting wet.

We drove back to his place, showered together (which was very necessary after all the sweating) and then hopped in bed.

Like I said, we're currently not having sex, for several reasons, but we are at least getting each other off orally. Anyways, after around 3 short minutes of kissing, I was just writhing underneath him... and when he went down on me, I kid you not I climaxed within 5 minutes.

That shit is fast for me... i haven't been ble to climax in less than five minutes since we first really started fooling around more than a year ago, i generally take closer to 15 to reach the big O most days! I was left shaking and flushed for the next 10 minutes, and then returned the favor.

Moral of the story is: kick your ass on the hardest mountain trail you can find, and then get freaky. Best orgasm ever.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

live by The Mag

everything I've ever needed to know I learned from Cosmo.

maybe that's a bit extreme, but in all seriousness, it has been my primary source of information regarding fashion, style, men, and especially sex.

Before I started dating my current boyfriend, I was completely and totally inexperienced physically, and inexperienced in reltionships in general. But the amazing part was that I had lived vicariously through so many OTHER relationships, had listened to so much advice regarding behavior to situations in a relationship, and had read all the sex advice it's possible to absorb from all articles I got my hands on, that when the real deal came along I was totally prepared for battle.

I knew the right things to say, the right things to do, and all the right tricks to play in the bedroom. It was like I had taken and aced a class on relationships before ever having experienced on first-hand.

One day I was going down on my man, and then lubed up my hands, gripped him, and started twisting in opposie directions on his shaft while I was still taking care of him with my mouth. He gasped and asked me where I'd learned that from, and I smiled slightly and replied, "Cosmo."

At one point he confided that he didn't quite believe that I was a virgin when we met, and the thought was aided by the fact that whn we first did have sex, after the initial 10 seconds of discomfort, we went on to fuck in three different positions.

I firmly believe that if every man subscribed to Cosmo every month, that some of their confusion about women would be cleared up, and we could all coexist in a more peaceful and enlightened way.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

living at home

As a near 21 year old, and well into my college career, it's a damn shame and an absolute pain in the ass to still be living at home.

I don't know what i wouldn't give to be able to come and go freely, to bring the boy back to my own bed, or to stop worrying about using my vibrator during the day for fear that someone will hear the tell-tale buzz through my door.

I think that is one of the worst parts; when I'm feeling excited and I'm ready to go, you have no IDEA what a turn-off it is to be listening for your mother's footsteps in the hall beyond your room. I dread the 'knock-and-open-the-door-at-the-same-time' combo that is supposed to show a respect for your provacy while really giving you nothing but a split second heads up that hey, I'm busting in on you.

I've been lucky up to this point that i haven't been caught doing anything 'illegal'.

I've grown up in a household that frowns on everything having to do with sexual expression outside of marriage. We don't talk freely about dating, boyfriends and ESPECIALLY not sex, and if I were to mention birth control I would be out on the dourstep on my ass in an instant... which may be preferable to my current living situation but for the fact that I don't pay my tuition, my insurance... and although I have a relatively good part-time job, there's no way I could handly living on my own and paying my own shit when I have a full load of 400 level classes on my plate.

My little sister doesn't even know that I've gotten past second base... she once threatened to tell my mom that I had touched my boyfriend's penis as some sort of leverage to get what she wanted... which was annoying both for the fact that she would use that sort of knowledge against me and that I've rounded second base, and then third, and then home, and I've been running back around to second for quite some time.

I feel like I have to tell you a little of my life story and some background before I get to the fun and more interesting stuff, so bear with me for the first few posts while i establish my identity for you.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl

Getting Started

I used to be a really good girl.

No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, and no NO boys.

My first kiss was when I was 18. It was a peck on the lips, bu it freaked me out so much that I didn't try it again with the guy... who I had been dating for over a month. He dumped me a week later.

My first REAL kiss, and make-out, and hook-up, was when I was 19. I lost my v-card to him more than half a year later.

To this day, I've only been with this one guy... and though we broke up 'for good' many months ago, we are currently together, and this relationship is the source of experience I will draw my many many stories from.

goodbye for now,
badlittlegoodgirl